🔗 Share this article

“Well, it’s rather brutal here. We’re advising all of our clients to commit their entire holdings into canned food and shotguns.” This nugget of sage advice comes from the Brain Gremlin – a scientifically altered, articulate, spectacled member of the slick creature crowd that overruns Manhattan’s ultra-modern Clamp Tower skyscraper in director Joe Dante’s unhinged continuation Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Superficially, it’s nothing more than an portfolio pointer from one monster to another. But, curiously, it’s also pretty solid life advice. Seriously, listen to my reasoning.

When situations deteriorate, the biggest mistake you can do is view events with undue solemnity. The Brain Gremlin understands this. Actually, a large portion of the toothy monsters that populate Dante’s wild 1990 film (possibly his finest) possess the same sly, self-aware sense of humour regarding the blurry line separating everyday life and absolute bedlam. It’s a particular aspect of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that maintains my loyalty – and as I age, it’s the underlying idea that resonates the most.

An Early Life Obsession

Of course, my attachment to this movie did not begin on such an philosophical plane. As a child, we only had a few battered VHS tapes at home. Included within that collection were Gremlins and its second chapter, the latter housed in a bulky previously-rented case probably bought from an independent video outlet and featuring snarling creatures on its worn-out artwork. I was right away smitten and these films quickly proceeded inserting themselves inside my small, malleable brain. From then on, they became an near-everyday part of my youthful watching schedule.

Dante’s first film typically gets all the accolades, thanks primarily due to its status as a moderately spooky festive favorite – and let me be clear, I’ve watched Gremlins more times than I can count. Nevertheless, its follow-up seldom receives the same level of lofty appreciation, which feels a travesty. As a kid, I’d always seize the chance to watch Gremlins 2. During sunny school summer breaks, I’d lock myself inside and play it. When I acquired my personal TV-VHS combo unit, it continued playing looped in my bedroom. Over time, it became deeply rooted in my mental framework. If my parents detected this preoccupation, they gave no indication of concern.

Deeper Rewards and Cultural Nuggets

As I matured, new understandings enriched multiple watches, amplifying the pleasure of watching little green monsters happily vandalize a New York high-rise. I learned the future-focused development mogul and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was inspired directly by future president Donald Trump, with his red-headed employee Marla (Haviland Morris) echoing his one-time partner Marla Maples. Fortunately, Clamp has more heart than his genuine article inspiration.

The “apocalyptic” video Clamp plays during the height of creature carnage? I discovered it was inspired by a real-life “Doomsday” video created by the CNN boss Ted Turner as a contingency for the world truly faced apocalypse. I noticed how Dante took extra pains to film alternate cuts of a self-referential segment where Gremlins seize control of the exact movie you are viewing. An edit for movie houses, another for home video and television, each delivering a smirking slice of fourth-wall-breaking cultural alchemy ahead of its time.

A Lasting Legacy

While it was makeup maestro Rick Baker’s gloriously nasty-looking creatures that captured my attention as a child, this hidden treasure kept me hooked as an adult. Eventually, I even conversed with Dante about it myself and he had no hesitation informing me he made the movie with the specific aim of poking fun at those who loved its silly-yet-sincere predecessor and wanted more. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he cheerfully disclosed. This cartoonish rebelliousness and determination to not take his sequel as gravely as his Warner Bros bosses evidently expected, only deepened my appreciation further.

When I experienced a abrupt familial death not long ago, I was astonished to realize that, during my heightest mourning, all I wanted to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Strange, isn’t it? Possibly not. The nostalgic calm it furnished was necessary to weaken my mind’s sadness sludge – but the perspectives it had bestowed upon me as an adult were just as useful.

Like Gremlins tearing apart a genetics laboratory, there’s certain elements in life you just cannot manage. Dante is aware of it. The Brain Gremlin shares this wisdom. Sometimes, you have to emulate them: welcome the pandemonium, invest all your resources into tinned provisions and hunting rifles and try not to view the world with undue solemnity.

It’s powerful existential guidance from a highly unexpected fountain – and it’s the reason Gremlins 2: The New Batch will forever remain my go-to cinematic solace.